Friends

Friend is a simple word, but the friends we make are often a profound influence in our lives. To me, good friends are a gift.  My old neighborhood friends especially lure me back home from time to time. Jayne, Bev, and Carol Ann are friends of my heart, and I love reconnecting with them. Best friends ever.

What makes a friend? Let me count the ways.

Driving in our car one day, my fifth grader surprised me by evaluating her three best friends. “Kari and I like to play sports. Sarah and I play with Barbie dolls. Lee Ann and I use our imagination and make up games and stories.”

 Was this mother impressed! Unlike Christine, I never consciously pinpointed the reason why I liked a girl; I just liked the girl. That is the day I realized that this daughter of mine was a deep thinker. A lass, who cramming her hands in her pockets when feeling shy, valued her friends deeply. 

Cherished are the friends who believe in you and offer encouragement. For my first publishing efforts, a college friend said, “I’ll edit for you, Pat, and I don’t want you to pay me.” Of course, I paid her. What touched me was Char’s later comment, “Thanks for letting me go on this journey with you.” Seriously, you’re thanking me for all the grief I caused fumbling about this writing business? But she’s right, it was quite a journey! I couldn’t have published without Char. Talk about her nitpicking and patience…

Life experiences teach us about friendship at those times we flounder. As a college friend was hurting going through a painful divorce, Ken and I admitted to Joe, “We don’t know what to say.”

“Just be my friend,” he said.  These were powerful words; ones we took to heart.

As a hospice volunteer, one thing I said to patients was, “Tell me about…” These days, I use those same caring words when a friend loses a, a child, a grandchild, or a spouse. It helps them to share good memories.

When my neighbor lost her teenage grandson through cancer, I said, “That’s so hard. I’m sorry. Tell me about him so I heard how he loved playing high school football.”

Recently, I lost a good friend; one I could rant to without fear that she would think less of me. And I returned the favor, listening when she vented. Over the years, Jan and I laughed and teamed up to lead support groups. Her heart was failing, and we knew Jan’s time was short, but still, I grieve. I miss my friend.

I am at the age now where friends are passing. It’s tough, but I am so lucky to have each special woman in my life for our brief time on earth. Starting with Jayne, Bev, and Carol Ann, my friends make me a better person. These ladies are full of grace. I love them, each one.